Chapters 13-16

July, 2023

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In these chapters, Esther tries to commit suicide in multiple ways. She mentions she tried to hang herself, besides drowning herself at the beginning of chapter 13. Following her mother’s advice, she goes to serve as a volunteer in a hospital, and while trying to make some flower bouquets look better, she then receives criticism from the women who were supposed to receive them, so she quits volunteering after just one day. This made me think about the importance of being kind to anyone because you never know what others are going through. Additionally, I find it tragically ironic that when she does decide to overdose on pills, she cries for help from her mom, yet when she is recovering in later chapters, she despises her mom and wants her to leave.

I can also notice that she has been repressing her feelings for a long time. She did not do that on purpose. There is an emotional correlation between the fact that she did not process her father’s death until she was in front of his gravestone, and the excerpt when she says she can’t feel grateful because she can’t feel anything. To me, she has been so isolated from everyone else, that she has become extremely self-absorbed, her perception is clouded and distorted because of her depression.

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