Chapters 1-4

April 29th, 2023

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I cannot help but see my younger self in Esther Greenwood. She is 19 years old, solely familiar, obsessed even, with academic accomplishments, yet eager to live new experiences like the rest of girls her age, only to feel disgusted and lonely afterward. Trying to find a way to dissolve bad moments and feel pure again. Feeling jealous of girls who could afford to travel abroad or wear trendy outfits. Admiring intellectual women while diminishing those who were shallow fashionistas. She considers herself a feminist while displaying inner misogyny unconsciously.

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Student reading on campus at Howard University, Washington, D.C., 1946 (photographed by Alfred Eisenstaedt)

Woman at home with mysterious day lights around her by Freepik

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In previous years, I would not have dared to open this book. It is as if Sylvia Plath was describing my personality and several of my life experiences of that age. Esther is lost, lonely, burned out, and ultimately depressed after pursuing perfection for so many years. Moreover, it seems that she has been living up to her mother’s expectations so far, according to what she says at the beginning of chapter 4. As a consequence, she does not know what she truly wants for her professional future. She does not know who she is, which is completely normal for her age. Sadly, she lives in a time when people were less understanding than now.

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Anxiety concept illustration by storyset on Freepik

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